I'm pissed. At everything. My dog is annoying me. The job market is annoying me. Lines are annoying me. Traffic is annoying me. That bitch that's too scared to run the yellow light is annoying me. God, it's the vertical pedal on the right! Step on it! Or get off the road!
I want to gnaw my arm off. But I'm too determined to give up. I've been smoking on and off for eight years. I'm approaching 26. I either quit now or my songbird karaoke voice will forever be tainted. My goal in life is NOT to sound like one of Bart Simpson's two aunts. So, I must quit.
My daily routine of coffee and a cigarette in the morning no longer exists. My Friday night menthol with my Strongbow no longer exists. My cig to pass the time when I'm on a long drive no longer exists. My margarita and cig on the beach no longer exists.
Right now those facts amount to one thing: annoyance. My life sucks right now. I'm a junkie, and I'm coming off my drug.
According to Wikipedia, the level of addiction associated with cigarettes is equal to that of heroin and cocaine.
Great. Just what I wanted to hear. I'm glad there are sources like Wikipedia to make me realize how severe my addiction is. And how hard this will be. And how my pissiness is completely normal. Fuck off, Wikipedia. Kiss my ass. I hate you.
I just want a pizza. And now I'm pissed off the Papa John's guy is taking so long. I mean, seriously? Why the fuck does it take 40 minutes to cook a damn pizza and drive it half a mile? In 40 minutes, I can go to the grocery store, buy crust, tomato paste and cheese, come home, throw the damn thing in the oven, eat, and then go for a mile run.
I hate Papa John's. I hate cigarettes and the shit they've turned my last four days into. I hate everything.
Peace, I'm outta here.
1 comment:
1. Cigarettes are harder to come off of than heroin. Personal experience.
2. Be nice to the Papa John's people. They probably have to get a million pizzas out. Again, personal experience. Did you know that notorious good tippers get their food faster?
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