Bless my heart.

I woke up late this morning. Not that it was a bad start because the reason I overslept is a sweet one. Brent called at 4 a.m. just to tell me he was wide awake and all he could think of was me. It took me forever to go back to sleep, and when I finally did, it was deep enough to snooze right through the alarm.

By the time I got to work, my mental to-do list was as long as the 30-minute drive. I have a huge launch coming up for Shell – one that should take 6 months of preparation – and for some reason my client decided to tell me two weeks ago we were doing it by Oct. 1. Fantastic.

My boss is taking the opportunity to pile as much other shit on as possible, and it seems like the more I try, the harder it is to get anything done on Guam. There is no such thing as a deadline on an island. Where else in the world would it take two weeks to get a price estimate? Seriously.

There may be a silver lining to today though. After getting my car detailed yesterday, I’m just in time to show it to a potential buyer. Not that I don’t love my Altima, it’s just that I could get by much cheaper and just as good with a Guam bomb. Not that I even need one right now – I have Brent’s car to get me around.

Nate from Chalan Pago called me Monday night to set up a time. He was really interested in the car, asked all kinds of questions about it. Let me call to make sure we’re still on for my lunch break. Hi, is Nate there?

“Nate? What’s your relation to him?”
“Um, he called me about a car.”
“A car? Hold the line, please.”
“Hi, this is Nate.”
“Hi Nate. This is Amanda. Are we still on for 12:30?”
“Amanda who?”
“Uh, Amanda with the Altima.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Nate from Chalan Pago? At 688-0945?”
“Yeah, that’s me. But I didn’t call you about a car.”
“Uh, ok. Bye.”

Great. What the hell? Am I in the Twilight Zone? Well so much for getting my hopes up about that. I should have known. Last time Brent and I went to look at a car here, the guy showed up 2 hours late. No exaggeration. That’s Guam for you!

To-do list or no to-do list, I have to be home at 2:30 to meet the cable guy. My TV, phone and Internet (thank goodness for bundles!) have been out for nearly a week. And since I can’t do “all day appointments,” I had to reschedule for one during the work day. Before you ask, no, my bill isn’t overdue. For some reason, everything just shut off one day.

I walk in to the sound of rushing water. What the hell? The plumber just came to fix the toilet yesterday (after I had requested two weeks earlier he find out what was making it run constantly). What’s wrong now?

Oh, wow. Overflowing water in my bathroom. Great, the OFF nozzle isn’t turning it off. This is amazing. Landlord, water department, someone help!

“No worry, no worry, he on de way.” … Yeah, well, look lady, he’s been “on de way” for 45 MINUTES now and in the meantime, there’s an inch of water in my bedroom and it’s rushing into my closet. And now I’m crying. What do you mean the water department can’t help me? Do I look like a maintenance man! We pay an arm and a leg (literally!) for rent around here and that’s all you can tell me? He on de way?

Where the hell is Brent? This is a man’s job! Oh my god, I’m losing it. Great timing too! The plumber just pulled up. And only an hour too late!

Ring, ring. No worries, just my boss again to yell at me for something I had no control over. Oh wait, she hears that I’m sobbing uncontrollably and decides to give me a break. Silver lining on the horizon!

Only one solution - chocolate chip cookie dough. Yes, I did it. I made cookies just so I could dip into the dough. Damn, I feel better already. But I hear the gym calling ...

Wake Up.

Yeah, sure, so I can't sleep until 11 a.m. like some people. And most of the time, if I lay down for a nap, chances are I'm going to get antsy and get up to do the dishes or fold laundry after about 10 minutes.

So what? So I can't waste my days away sleeping. That doesn't mean that I don't hit the bed like a log at night, dream peaceful dreams and wake up all refreshed. Right?

Wrong.
So wrong.

I am officially an insomniac.
Or at least I have been for the past three weeks. It doesn't matter how tired I am, I'm up at 2:30 or 3 a.m., wondering what the hell I did wrong for God to suddenly stop letting me sleep through the night. I've never had this problem. Ever.

It's ridiculously frustrating, and I have a good idea why it's happening now.
King-sized beds are not meant to be slept in alone.

This deployment is affecting my sleep life, among other things.