The D-word.

I vividly remember laying awake in bed when I was 8 years old, hearing the muffled sounds of my mom crying at night. At the time, we lived with my grandparents, and of all the bedrooms in the house, mine was closest to hers.

I told myself back then that I would never let my heart get broken. I would never depend on someone so much that I couldn't live on my own. Or stand on my own two feet. I would grow up, go to college, get a job and make a ton of money so I would never have to get divorced. And, if by chance, I ever had kids, they would never have to go through divorce either.

Well, here I am, 26, and I've done it -- mostly. Granted, I don't have a ton of money, but I do have a college degree and I'm more than capable of supporting myself. I can buy groceries and fill my gas tank if need be. I have debt ... but at least I can pay the bills.

And now that I've lived a life -- at least for a few years -- that has allowed me to stand on my own two feet, I realize it's not all it's cracked up to be. Not standing, mind you, but being alone. I didn't know that until I wasn't alone anymore.

Living with my boyfriend has afforded me more happiness than I've ever experienced. We are a team. And it shows in everything -- even the chores, which he's committed doing more of.

I've just recently started to re-evaluate the vow I vowed when I was 8 years old. Maybe I wasn't as on-target as I thought. Maybe it's not what you can do alone that counts, but what you can do together. Maybe my goal should have been to have a successful relationship; instead of to avoid a failed one.

I've been so hell bent on being independent all these years, it's been like pulling teeth to let someone take care of me. And, you know what? Maybe I was just wrong.

I've finally found someone who wants to carry me to bed when I fall asleep on the couch. Someone who wants to help me with my bills while I'm waiting on my first paycheck. Someone who wants to make sure the car I want to buy has good spark plugs and brakes and a clean air filter. And, my God, I'm so thankful for that I could just cry.

So, you know, maybe it's not so bad to be dependent. As long as you're dependent on each other. For happiness. For fulfillment. For that which you have been running and running your entire life -- the "can't be without you" love.

Maybe I can live without you. Maybe I don't need you. But damn if I don't want to spend the rest of my life with you, laughing and loving and being as cheesy as possible. There aren't many people who get that chance.

So, if you lean on me, can I lean on you?