Great Expectations

I'm not sure what it is about me. I'm not sure what happened in my life that has made me expect so much out of people.

With all the loves I've seen destroyed and all the loss I've had to go through, you would think it'd be the opposite. I shouldn't expect anything from anyone. I shouldn't trust a soul. Or have great expectations for friends or family members or politicians who gained my vote.

But I do. And I think that's one of my greatest downfalls. I expect a lot. Not in a bad way. I just have such admiration for people in my life, I guess I tend to put them on pedestals. And when someone falls off that pedestal, I take it personal.

I wish sometimes I could be one of those people who doesn't care what people I know are going through. I wish I didn't take things to heart. Or feel hurt for people I know are hurting. I wish I didn't feel like I need to tell people when I think they've fucked up.

I wish I didn't have the admiration I have for people in my life. That way, I could get used to them screwing up. No one is perfect, I know that. But it's screwing up the things -- the relationships -- that gets me the most.

How do you start not to care?