You're Ridiculous.

I lub juice.

You want some milk?

I'd rather have a beer.

Do you want a banana?

Mmm-hmm.

Do you want a banana?

Mmm-hmm.

Here comes the hate mail.

Vat is so offensive about ze holiest geetar in ze vorld?

I wanna kiss you all over.

I'm gonna say it like a man and make you understand. Amanda.

I dub dew.

I'll bring you Mexican. Where's Sombrero's? And who the hell is Josie?

Kiss strange boys in the Gulf of Mexico? OK.

Sweet Caroline. Du, du, duuuu.

Who likes Project Pat?

I forgot the Ramones.

Yeah, yeah.

Penny Marshall lubs you too.

Popeye taught me to eats me spinach.

That's why I'm cock diesel.

How can I be the shiniest girl on the beach?

I love you. See? Nunchuks.

Is that a fish hook?

They're just like me?

I'll sew your holes.

Velveeta Shells.

I like ya. Kinda.

What do I do? Well, I'm unemployed.

Can you pack me in a box?

I'm not punk rock.

Can I wear your smedium?

I need to pack. Aaaaaahhh.

Airborne. Uh!

Your tit's out.

I like Vicky. And she likes me back!

Who the hell likes Tom Green?

Yes, New Kids on the Block is a band.

Eye Heart DaCrust.

Ya breath stinks.

My feet smell.

Sparked. And Strongbowed.

I drove all night to get to you.

LeAnn does not do trailer parks.

Or deep water. There's sharks!

My kinda love. Your kinda love.

Maybe you're not a Yankee.

I got dosed by you.

It's OK. I think we're alone now.

So Play Artist: Tiffany.

How's the Whale's Vagina?

Did you get my e-mail/missed call/Myspace/Facebook message/voicemail/messenger pigeon?

Morning pretty.

Don't tell anyone, but I'm a sports fan.

OH, and I love ya too.

If Dogs Could Talk.

Life would be much more interesting if I knew what certain things were thinking, like for example, dogs. I wish Penny could tell me why she squeals like a pig so much. And why Milk Bones are so good. And why in the world she won't play with tennis balls like all the other dogs.

I wish old homes could talk and tell me about all the families that grew up inside their walls.

I wish baseball fields and football fields could tell me about the best games they've seen and the best plays they've witnessed.

I wish my vintage cowboy boots could tell me whose feet made their home there before mine.

I wish roly-polys could tell me where they came from and how long it actually does take them to cross the street.

I wish birds and dolphins and lions in the zoo could tell me where they've been.

There's probably a reason why they don't. I just haven't figured it out yet.